A gentle transition to motherhood

What Sound Does a Mommy Make?

Posted by on Apr 21, 2014 in Blog | 3 comments

I tell my classes all the time that as long as you love your children unconditionally, and show that love often, you cannot do it wrong. Easily said, harder to believe.

In my own head I’m thinking maybe there is a perfect way to parent. Surely if I give it enough careful thought and research I can avoid making the “wrong”choice. You know, the choice that is going to send them down the swift spiral of drugs, alcohol and general devastation. The perfect preschool, homemade quinoa puree, and the parenting books – surely these things can save me and my poor, innocent children from imperfection.

And then one day I was sitting in our playroom with my 2 year old son. His twin sister was already in bed for the night but he had a few more minutes to play. Surrounded by different stuffed animals he began to pick them up one by one and list the sound they make. “The pig says….oink! The cow says….moo!”

This went on for a few minutes when suddenly I piped up with, “What sound does Mommy make?” I immediately regretted my words, wishing I could pull them back into my mouth and take a large swallow. I knew what he was going to say and I wasn’t ready to be defined by it yet. He was going to say, “No, thank you” for those are some of the most common words that fall into the ears of my twins. “No thank you. Please don’t hit your sister, use gentle touch.” “Oh, no thank you. Crayons are for coloring, poop stays in our diaper.”

No thank you. That’s what sound a Mommy makes.

But what he actually said will be forever burned on my brain. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life, into my darkest motherhood hours, my worst choices and my biggest failings.

“What sound does Mommy make?” I asked. My son paused, briefly, then said with a huge grin, “I love you.”

And in that perfect perfect PERFECT moment I….let….go. Somehow, amongst all of the “no thank yous” and the guilt, the mistakes and wrong choices, my son heard my “I love yous”.

The thing is, we aren’t perfect. Not me, my son, my daughter, my husband. We make mistakes all the time. No preschool or quinoa is going to change that. But when you boil it all down to the heart of the matter – quack, oink, moo – the only word left is love.

Kira Dorrian and Tracy Adams are Seattle-based Clinical Hypnotherapists and HypnoBirthing® Practitioners, each a mom of twins. Together they have created HypnoMothering™, a class designed to help prepare women for a gentle transition into motherhood, and a safe space for new mothers to be seen, heard, and supported.

3 Comments

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  1. Dove Elbers

    Yeah Kira! Thank you – this is such a helpful message for me to read, tonight and always.

  2. Leah

    I love you too, Kira! And this post. You have such a warm soul, I’m not surprised your kids feel your love in everything you do.

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